Friday, July 16, 2010

sparkler bouquet.....

 "Sparkler Bouquet"
mixed media & layered resin

I think this has been the strangest few weeks that I can ever imagine.  Losing my cousin, the day after his wedding was a shock to everyone.  I know I wasn't prepared.  I've lost both of my parents, but it was expected. They were elderly and having health problems.  But, when you totally lose someone you are close to, tragically in a split second, unexpectedly...that is really difficult. Last weekend, I went back to Savannah for a small private service to spread his ashes.  I had done a pretty good job and holding it together prior to last weekend.  Danny said I went into almost a mechanical survival mode.  I don't remember.  I just know that as soon as I saw that cloud of ashes hit me hard. 

In an instant, my life changed.

It made me realize how much time we waste.  How we worry about things too much, and how difficult we make life. How stubborn and narrow minded we all can be.

When you get down to it...there is nothing more important than how much we loved and how much fun we had.

So I've decided to stop wasting time.  I'm way too reserved at times.  I'm the worst for holding back feelings and emotions, so I can be seen as the "strong", "independent" type. Not telling someone that they hurt my feelings, or just not telling someone how much I love or appreciate them.  I decided to start speaking up more, and letting things be known in more direct, but loving, positive way.

I decided to be less fearful (I even got my first tattoo, lol). 
I've taken this new found knowledge and applied it to my art, as well.  I think you'll start to see an even more playful, free spirit in the work ahead. Did you think I could ever get any more playful, whimsical or magical...well hang on to your seats...  This new painting is a direct result of this new thinking.  The original concept came from a little funky doodle on my iphone. I'm really, really happy with the way that it came out.

Someone close to my cousin (a guy and not your typical art connoisseur), told me that my art was healing.  Watching my videos and viewing my work helped him cope and get through this difficult time.  I never had thought of my art in that way before, and I especially never thought of my videos in that way.  It was probably the biggest and best compliment that someone could ever give me.

I have been amazed by all the light that has come from the darkness.  I have received tremendous gifts.  New friends, new family, insight...freedom.  Maybe it was there all along...I don't know.  I just know I'm not going to waste any time anymore, and keep my heart and eyes wide open.

I hope you enjoy the new painting and video.

Love, Light and Muchness,

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