"Sometimes Things Don't Feel Right"
acrylic, ink, and resin on wood
"Sometimes Things Don't Feel Right" is my new painting. If you are thinking that it looks a little familiar, then you are right. Remember the painting, "She Is Emerging". This is it, reworked into a new painting.
Do you remember the gallery that was interested in my work, but they wanted to see work that had more of a story and edgier. This was created for them. They saw it, and said that I was on the right track, and they wanted more work. I could never bring myself to do any additional pieces for them. It was very odd, since I REALLY wanted to be associated with this gallery...but something just didn't feel right.
The painting hung at my studio and gallery downtown for a couple of months. One day, I overheard some women talking about the painting. They said, "This painting is severely demented". My feelings were a little hurt, because "demented" is the last adjective I would ever want to describe my work. I took the painting home that afternoon.
Living with the painting gave me a whole new perspective. I could appreciate certain parts of it, and other parts were too negative. It brought me down. It reminded me of a bad time in my life that I was way past. I told my friends and family that I was thinking of painting over it. They gasped and told me that I'd ruin it...or please don't paint over the lion. Everyone had a different opinion.
My astrological sign is Pisces, the fish swimming in two different directions. I am blessed and cursed at the same time with the uncanny ability to see two sides to every situation. I find it extremely difficult to make a decision sometimes, even with the simplest of manners. I could understand what the gallery was looking for, I could understand the criticism from my gallery patrons, and understand every positive and negative comment ever made about the painting. But, what I couldn't understand was my feelings about the painting. I couldn't make a decision about it. This behavior drives my best friend crazy. He is constantly telling me to make a decision, draw the line, and stick to it.
So I decided that something just didn't feel right, and to do something about it. I had no idea where it would take me. I had no preconceived ideas about what it would look like in the finished work. I just knew I wanted it to be happier. So, I jumped off the edge and started painting over it. All I can say is it was really scary for awhile. Terrible negative thoughts kept coming through my head, about how I was ruining it. I shoved them away and focused on the feeling I wanted to create and moved my paint brush along without thinking about it too much. The techniques that I used are some of the same ones as I will be teaching in the new "Paint Free" class next month. All I can say, is when it was done...I knew I had done the right thing.
Yes, it's still melancholy. But, that's okay. I just wanted happier...and it is definitely that. I decided to name it after the feeling that I had all along about the painting. I think it fit it well. As far as the gallery...If being in their gallery means losing myself, or compromising my feelings through my painting...then it's not worth it. I have to draw the line.
Hope you enjoy the new video for the painting.
Registration for the new "Paint Free" class is now open. I have been overwhelmed by your response to it. Class size is limited, but there are still spaces available. If you have taken the "Mixed Media with the Girls" or "Art Play" classes, you do get a discount on the new class. Class starts Sept. 13th and runs through Oct. 20th. The "Mixed Media Resin" class is still in production with a release date probably the end of September.
Thanks to everyone for all your constant love and support on my journey. You make it much easier to draw the line and follow my heart.